The Journey - where joy and grief mix and merge

The Last Post

It is now 7 weeks since Sue died and 3 weeks since the previous blog post. While my journey continues as a 'single married man' (I can't come at the tag of 'widower' - and it says nothing about how I see myself) it is timely to draw this blog to a close. It started as a convenient (possibly even selfish) way of keeping people informed of our progress - but morphed into something richer and deeper and more profound for us and (apparently) for others. It became a place of exploration, expression, sharing, teaching and learning. It became a community of love and care; of fun and sorrow. It became a permanent chronicle of God's faithfulness to us in the journey of (this part of) life. It became a rich, intricate, and surprisingly beautiful 'picture' where the colours, tones, shadings and nuances of our joy and grief indeed mixed and merged.

But it is time to paint the last few strokes and recognise that 'our journey' has become 'my journey' - a different story yet to be written and told. I am tempted to take this last 'moment' and write of my musings about the difference and relationship between aloneness, loneliness and solitude - but my musing is 'underdone' yet. I could (but will not now) share with you how often I shed tears and what causes them to ooze or flow. I could (but will not now) unpack the reasons for my decision not to return to my role as CEO of NT Christian Schools in 2016, some of which are probably predictable, others perhaps less so. I could (but will not now) indulge myself, for fear of apprearing sympathy-seeking, by discussing how the decision about my work inevitably becomes a decision to sell our (my) Darwin home. I could (but will not now) outline the shadow of a future that is fleetingly cast when the sunrays of hope and expectancy break fingerlike through the clouds of strangeness and grief.

However, I will assert and affirm that I have a peace about where I am, and where(ever) it is that I am heading - and that God in his wisdom and sovereignty continues to lead, guide and uphold me. At the end of the day that is all that really matters, eh?

I am coming to more fully understand and accept that peace comes as I learn to appreciate the memories that I have and not begrudge the ones that we did not have a chance to make.

And so this is the blog's last post. It shares some things with the more famous Last Post - the haunting and soulful bugler's call that signals that the day is done and the 'base' is secure - and is played at military funerals and remembrances to affirm that those who have died may rest in peace.

With this last post, the journey is done, we are secure, and both Sue, and we who live on, can rest in peace; the peace that surpasses all understanding.

It has been an honour and privilege. Thank you and Amen.

If you have the time and bandwidth...

Here is a 'first cut' video of the Darwin-based celebration of Sue's life and legacy. What you have below is an 'edited by still not completely refined' video rendition of the evening. The 'final cut' is yet to be produced.

The first 9 minutes is footage that gives a sense of the place, space and demeanor of those present. The 'service' itself starts at about the 9 minute mark.

If you have the time and the bandwidth, as a well as the inclination, settle back and share in the wonderful evening of celebration and thanksgiving.

Great is our God and worthy to be praised. Enjoy.

 

Life and Legacy - Address #3

The text of the address by Andrew and Lyn Kernick appears below. Sorry it took so long to publish but they left for Adelaide the night of the Celebration!  Thanks for squeezing us in guys....

--START--

Way back in 1990 (is it really 25 years ago?) a family with 2 young children sat in front of us at Casuarina Uniting Church. The dad was an interesting looking guy with a pony tail - hard to believe, but true - and the mum a gentle, quiet person. We soon learned the cute children were Tessa and Callum.

We are Lyn and Andrew Kernick and we and our family have enjoyed an incredible journey of friendship and life with the Bateman family here in Darwin, long distance during the Poatina, Tasmanian years and then with the unexpected blessing of their return to Darwin. Our children have grown - there have been many joyful celebrations, including 6 weddings, 4 of which we shared in Darwin, and some challenging times. Through it all we have known the amazing bond of our shared experience of God's grace and love for us as His children.

We feel very honoured that Geoff asked us to speak tonight on behalf of Sue's friends. We realise that you are all here because you too are Sue's friends and you all have many and different memories of being with and knowing Sue. There are many other friends interstate and overseas who also share with us tonight in celebrating Sue's friendship and love.

It's great that we have so many memories of times spent with Sue and how she has blessed us and enriched each of our lives.

Before Sue died, Lyn wanted her to know just how much we all value and appreciate her love and friendship. Lyn wrote some of the special things that make Sue so precious to us in a card. I know many of you have also expressed your love with messages, flowers, meals and one beautiful quilt.

Geoff read our card to Sue and talked about it with her. Tessa also had the opportunity to talk about these things with her. In her honest and humble way Sue agreed, with her cheeky grin, that these gifts described her really well and that she thought we had it "pretty right". We are so pleased that Sue was able to hear "just what we thought of her" and accept it - and that it was not just shared at her memorial service.

As we read through this list of the special attributes which we love about our dear friend, we invite you to remember and reflect on your own times spent with Sue - at home, at church, at work, on social occasions, in whatever part of Australia you knew her.

Sue, there are so many things about you that make you so precious to us all

  • your gentleness, sincerity and humility
  • your kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity. You see a need and quietly meet it.
  • your love and encouragement to become all that we can be
  • your steadfast support which has enabled and empowered Geoff in all he does
  • your "mother heart" and the obvious love, wisdom and encouragement you have shared with your wonderful children, Tessa, Callum and Mitchell which has stretched to enfold Jim, Megan and Lauren.
  • your hospitality and yummy cooking and the care you give to making us all feel welcome and special, the food always garnished with fun and fellowship
  • your sense of humour, even though you often had to fight for airspace in your zany family
  • your creativity and artistic skills which decorated your homes and many special events
  • your faithfulness and loyalty to all of us as your friends
  • your positive attitude, no matter what!
  • your Godly wisdom, so quietly and gently shared with honesty and integrity
  • your strength and resilience
  • your steadfast trust and hope in God, and your testimony to His presence and provision through every step of your life journey
  • your courage and determination to treasure and celebrate every moment, which you and Geoff have so generously and openly shared with us in the blog "The Journey - where joy and grief mix and merge", You have taught us so much about "giving thanks in all circumstances." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

What a blessing to have shared our lives with you Sue, and with Geoff, Tessa, Callum and Mitchell.

We praise God for the blessing of your life.

We have so much to remember and celebrate.

Peace and blessings today and for eternity. We love you, Sue.

--END--

Durack Floriade

I appreciated and enjoyed these flowers received over recent weeks. Sue would have LOVED them.

Don't wait, send flowers (or a card, or note, or email, or text, or...) to someone you love, appreciate or want to encourage TODAY (or tomorrow, or soon)!

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Life and Legacy - Address #2

Below is the text of my words to those gathered to celebrate and give thanks for Sue's life and legacy. Not a eulogy as such, as you will see...

 

--START--

Introduction

Wow, there is quite a group gathered here. Thank you all for coming to recall, reflect, appreciate, celebrate and give thanks for Sue’s life and her legacy. Unlike the private family Memorial Service held in the Adelaide Hills last week, few of you here will know much more than a ‘slice’ of Sue’s life. You will have your own unique knowledge, experiences and perspectives. For most, these will be limited to more recent years.
It is tempting, and common, on occasions such as this to attempt to complete a fuller picture of Sue’s life and achievements. I am not going to do that. I am not going to deliver a eulogy as such.

I could talk for hours about Sue, but in the end the picture would still be more incomplete than complete. In truth, I was still getting to know her, appreciate her, and love her more completely and deeply right up to the moment she died – in fact, I realise that I still am on that journey. If you want to know more about Sue’s life, or indeed her death, you are welcome to ring, text, email, visit or stop me in the street. Don’t be shy! I love to talk about her, us, our family and her influence…

Tonight I want to honor Sue by talking about a couple of very significant things we learned together from living the journey over the last couple of years. In doing so I will ‘preach’ a bit. That will be no surprise to most of you! I pray your indulgence as I do……

 

We learned about Healing

On learning of Sue’s cancer diagnosis, many (including we ourselves) prayed continually for her healing. We also prayed for God’s will to be done. Were these prayers answered? 

If we define ‘healing’ as full and complete physical restoration, or even remission of the cancer, clearly this did not occur. However, there was much healing in the 22 months from diagnosis until death, and it is continuing now. ‘Healing’ can legitimately be defined as being in an improved or restored position, or being made whole. This is not limited to improved physical health – though we are inclined to think primarily that way.

Here are some of the healing that occurred in the last two years:

  • Sue and my work/life balance
  • Our ever increasing joy in being constantly together
  • My health
  • Our relationship as a couple – an ever deepening love and appreciation
  • An opportunity to learn about practical care of another in life and in death
  • An increase of medical and pharmaceutical knowledge and skills
  • Our deepened understanding of intimacy, especially without the joy and pleasure of sex
  • Our capacity to willingly accept ministry and grace from others
  • Our reliance on God
  • Our confidence in God
  • Changed and enriched relationships between us and all our family members
  • Changed and enriched relationships between our family members
  • Deeper understanding about life and death and how we cope with both
  • Opportunity to minister directly and indirectly into the lives of many many many people who shared our joys, sorrows and ‘ever-changing’ normal life….
  • Confidence in dealing with grief and loss (our own and others’)
  • The list goes on…….

And of course, the ultimate restoration that occurs at death when earthboundedness, brokenness and distress gives way to heavenly freedom.

No, Sue was not healed FROM cancer – we were in significant ways, healed BY and THROUGH cancer. What an exquisite paradox. Sue and I talked of this often and recognise that much of this healing was/is so valuable that we would actually choose it again despite the extreme context. 

Let’s not limit, impose and demand a particular response from God to our prayers for healing or release from distress, but open ourselves to the beautiful uncertainty of His will being done in our lives.

 

We learned about Life in Relationship

Life is to be lived in relationship; in community. Right from the beginning, our Creator God knew that it was not good for man to be alone. The scriptures themselves are a guidebook of how to live in relationship with each other and with God. Marriage and family is wonderful expression of God’s plan. So are friendship and community. As these God-designed relationships (marriage, family, friendship, and community) grow and prosper, we are all beneficiaries – we are all affected. Relationships leave an imprint and a wonderful ‘sticky residue’ – they influence and change us. As individuals, we carry not only the genetic legacy of our parents through our DNA, we also carry the imprint and residue of our interactions with life – especially our relationships with others. I guess this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ in a nutshell!

VERY FEW here tonight share genetic DNA with Sue – what a beautiful gift and legacy that is for those who have that privilege.
ALL of you gathered here carry, directly or indirectly, some ‘imprint’ of Sue because of relationship with her, or with others (e.g. me) who had relationship with her - as Mitchell so beautifully described a few minutes ago. One way or another, we are all here because of the impact and influence of a relationship with Sue and, because of that, our relationships with each other.

Whether we are aware of it or not, we are who we are, in greater or lesser part, because of relationship with Sue. This will carry forward in time and through generations. This is her legacy (as it will be each of ours in due time). It is profound and eternal. She leaves a sweet sweet fragrance and a deep and lasting imprint behind her. This is part of God’s plan and gift to us.

So, as people who carry an imprint, we have the opportunity and responsibility to wring every bit out of Sue’s legacy to us. We do this by living our life as fully and appreciatively and graciously as we are able, telling ‘Sue stories’ as we go.

But while we continue our lives, we also grieve to reality that Sue is no longer physically near to us.

 

We learned (and are learning) about Genuine/Authentic Grief

Generalisations are dangerous I know, but generally, in our culture (whatever that is...) we do not do death and grieving well. As Christians we often don’t do much better despite our professions of hope in our eternal life through Christ. This is strange when you think about it, because our bodily death is inextricably linked with our earthly life and is the one thing that we will all share and all have to deal with.

I am learning that genuine/authentic grief is an expression of love and loss – of joy and value and beauty experienced, appreciated and remembered. It is honest and open. This sort of grief is born of relationship. This grief is an expression of love – in fact it is a burden of love. We cannot grieve deeply and well without also loving deeply and well.

On the other hand, sadness born of self-pity, anger, bitterness or regret, is a wholly different thing. It is closed and isolating and cloying. It is not an expression of love at all. It is self-indulgent and ugly. This sort of sadness has no place in our grieving.

Also, in our uncertainty and fear, we often revert to ‘politically-correct’ sombreness and downcast, emotionless paying of ‘respects’ for the ‘passing’ of ‘the loved one’. It feels false, jarring and discordant. How much better to be look another in the eye and say with honesty - “I don’t know what to say”, “I’m sad”, “It must be tough for you right now”, “I’m gutted” or “do you remember that time when…” or whatever. We need to get better at this stuff!! Me included. We can practice tonight.

In stark contrast, sadness and tears born of genuine authentic grief, which itself is born of love, is healthy and natural and honest and beautiful. Though at times overwhelming, this sort of grief is not isolating and dark. This sort of grief, this wonderful burden of love, should be shared, just as the love on which it is founded is shared.


Invitation and Challenge

So I invite you, our (mostly) northern family, friends, community - those who have known and loved Sue long and well, and those who carry a lesser imprint too:

• carry Sue’s natural legacy forward as you live each day
• occasionally stop and recognise and give thanks to God for Sue’s imprint in your lives, and
• grieve honestly and well together and support each other – grieve as you have loved.

In doing this you will honour Sue most appropriately.

Thank you.

--END--

Life and Legacy - Address #1

Below is the text of the address given by Mitchell at the Darwin celebration on Wednesday. It is a lovely expression of his, Tessa's and Callum's reflections on the life and legacy of their mum. Says it all really. I was (and am) one very proud Dad.

--START--

Welcome friends, family, work mates, church mates, those knew Mum a long time and those who didn’t know her that much at all.

Welcome to all those whose lives were affected by Mum in one way or another.

If you were lucky enough to know her personally, you would have known a loving, serving person that would do anything for anyone if she could.

If you knew her personally, you would have known a quiet, unassuming woman with a heart so big you could see the love it held in everything she did.

If you never met Mum, and only knew her through relationships, whether that be through Dad, Tessa, Callum, myself, our spouses or her friends, you still met our mum.

You met her in the way she loved us, cared for us, encouraged us, and taught us.

If we ever laughed at life, you met Mum. If we ever dragged ourselves out of bed to do what needed to be done, you met Mum. If we ever cooked you a meal so good you could sing, you met Mum.

If we were ever grateful and humble in our work, our everyday sometimes tedious work, you met Mum.

If we were loyal, supporting and loving spouses, you met Mum.

If we ever danced around the kitchen without a care in the world, you met Mum.

If we ever stood tall, proud to be ourselves, if we were ever creative, if we were ever patient, if we ever went the extra mile, if we ever sacrificed ourselves for the benefit of others, you met Mum.

If we will ever have determined grace and faithfulness to see an illness to the end whether that be healing or meeting our Saviour Jesus you will have met our mum.

And though she is not here among us, she is still here among us. As we encourage each other to keep meeting Mum, we encourage you to do the same.

--END--

Everything we hoped for - and more

Last night we held the final celebration of Sue's life and legacy. The evening was everything that we hoped for - and more. I guess that there were about 250 people in attendance, including some 'surprising' ones (but by no means unwelcome) and some unexpected visitors from interstate.

The evening was cool-ish (for Darwin) with a gentle fan-assisted breeze. The outdoor space was beautifully set up and the music and technology was flawless. All we had to do was to arrive ready to 'do our part' in the service - oh, and bring the printed Orders of Service. There was a small problem there! We realised about 15 mins before the scheduled start that although to pile of printed Orders were right by the door when we left, no-one actually picked them up. A quick dash home and a slightly delayed start remedied that small oversight! We now await the (possible) speeding fines....

The service itself went for about 75 mins and many people commented that they would have been happy for another half hour!! The supper was AWESOME - coffee van, soft drinks, icecream, individual glasses of desserts (at least 4 different ones), a chocolate fountain, biscotti/Almond bread, and some fruit for the healthy eaters (which was great drenched in chocolate from the fountain!).

In coming days I will post the text of the words spoken about Sue, her life and legacy. After some 'post production' there will also be a video available to view - but that will take a little while to complete.

It was a fantastic night. Sue was honored, God was glorified and Christ was proclaimed. It was only slightly spoilt by the fact that Sue was not physically present to enjoy it with us. Apart from the fact that the focus was on her, Sue would have LOVED it.

More to come in future posts, but for now, here is a look at the Order of Service:

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We are all doing OK after the big night, week, fortnight, month, year(s)!  

The kids are out together as I type - getting Iced Coffee and then visiting the War Museum I believe. I is lovely to see them together.

I am very tired and have a nasty sore throat but am otherwise feeling surprisingly good. Perhaps the total (but I am sure temporary) collapse will come on Friday, or the weekend, or.... Despite the minor physical challenges, I can say "it is well with my soul".

Thank you for your continued interest and support. Love to yuz all.

 

Blue, but not 'blue'

The family memorial service in Mylor SA on Friday, and the afternoon tea that followed, was just lovely. Sure, there were tears and heartache, but also wonderful conversations (both quiet and lively); hugs, handshakes, kisses and caresses; joy and laughter; amazing food and satisfying beverages; and a room full of people who love Sue and are intimately connected because of her. Believe it or not, I came away with a song in my heart and a deep gratitude for all things!

Sue made few requests, and fewer demands, regarding her 'funeral'. The most strident request was that people did not dress down in 'mourning black' (comfortable and stylish black was fine!) rather to dress normally. She then added, "If people want to wear something different, tell them to wear blue". Blue was her most recent favourite colour.

As you can see from the photo, we made a modest effort to accommodate her wish. Callum gets the prize for his Hawaiian print shirt I reckon. I suspect that these do not regularly feature in funeral/memorial services (except in Hawaii?) and even less often in autumn in the Adelaide Hills!

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Other than the clothes, there was nothing 'blue' (depressing) about the day. We shared the grief of loss borne of the joy of loving. The capacity to love deeply and well is a precious gift from God to be celebrated and cherished.

We are back in Darwin now and taking a few moments for stop and 'smell the gerberas' (beautiful bright ones were in the church on Friday thanks to Sue's mum and sister) before sorting out what we are doing for the 'Life and Legacy' Celebration at outdoors at Marrara Christian College on Wednesday evening. I that same paradoxical way I have written of previously, we are quite looking forward to this further special time of celebration and thanksgiving, even though the context is not of our choosing.

Thank you all for your support, kind words, cards, practical helps and love. You are good people to have 'around'!

 

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Hand Over

At 6.35 this morning (Sunday) I was privileged to hand over care of Sue to our Father God. It was a seamless, peaceful and also imperceptible transition. She died as she had lived - with honesty, a quiet dignity, gentleness, humility, generosity of spirit and a simple but profound faith.

The last few days had been essentially peaceful ones, though Sue had ceased to be perceptively responsive to sound, touch or other stimulii.

I had been sitting with her all night as it seemed clear that death was fairly imminent. I played music that reminded us both of God's grace and lovingkindness, and the assurance of life with him forever through Christ's sacrifice. I held her hand, stroked her arm and occasionally ran my fingers through her hair. I whispered 'sweet nothings' and 'sweet somethings' at regular intervals and assured her of her past, present and future impact on those privileged to spend time with her. I read passages of scripture. I shed more than the odd tear, but also smiled often. I administered her medications and wrote notes about what I might say at her memorial service. I watched and waited. I dozed and snapped awake and dozed again.

To tell you the truth, I also became a little impatient and frustrated too. It was clear that her body was failing her. She had the desire and our permission to 'let go'. Yet each time her breathing ceased for longer than usual after a sharp inhalation, I would lean in expectant, only to have her exhale and breathe once more. This went on over many hours. I admit that there were times when it felt like she was deliberately teasing me, so I began to smile each time this occurred. It was like a secret and tender by-play usually reserved for lovers....

By 6.00am I realised that if I was to face the new day, I would need a shower and a strong coffee so I proceeded to organise both. Soon after I sat back down and took her hand, she quietly stopped breathing. It was beautiful, and sacred, and sad, and joyous, and releasing, and.....

As the day unfolded and all manner of things were attended to I became increasingly aware of the love, care, support that was flowing freely and naturally back and forth between all those who spent time in our home - particularly our kids and other family. We wept, but we also laughed and joked and reminisced and ate and enjoyed being together. It was a beautiful demonstration of 'family' at its best. This, I realised was one of Sue's most significant legacies 'in action'.

On Tuesday 26th we will all fly out to Adelaide to connect with our wider families of origin, and for a private memorial service later in the week. We will return to Darwin on Saturday 30th.

On Wednesday 3rd June from 7.00pm there will be a public time of celebration and thanksgiving for Sue's life held on the grounds of Marrara Christian College, cnr McMillans Road and Amy Johnson Ave, Marrara. An informal supper will follow. All are welcome.

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Heading Home

I have done quite a bit of domestic air travel over the course of my life. Flying in and out of Darwin you end up sitting in a airline seat for 4-5 hours. I find myself getting restless toward the end of the flight and am hanging out for the moment when the engine note changes, the angle of descent increases and the captain announces that we are 'coming in to land'. Better still is the moment when the seatbelt light is re-illuminated. At that point you know that the destination is in sight and the journey will soon end.

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For Sue, the seatbelt light is on now. It has been a wonderful journey, and it is not complete yet, but she is looking forward to being 'home' soon. Sue is secure that the knowledge that her death is but a transition from a worldly to a heavenly existence within her eternal life. On the weekend we had a wonderful quiet and intimate conversation during which Sue confirmed that as far as she was concerned 'all was said and done' in saying goodbye and that she is 'ready and waiting' on God's impeccable timing. She then confirmed that she knows that she is going to heaven because "I love God and He loves me". What a simple and sound theology. What a release it was for her, me and the kids to know that she is secure and content as she embraces her coming transition.

Sue is here at home and we expect that she will be able to stay here to the end. Even better, she is in her own bed and I can lay with her and hold her hand as we drift to sleep as we have every night in the past. Our home is often busy with our kids and their spouses, medical people, and visitors (though Sue is not seeing anyone now). While there are obviously individual and collective moments when the emotions well up and overflow, there is also much much joy and laughter. Our home continues to be a place of hospitality and vitality, itself a fitting legacy to Sue's passion and influence. The palliative care team and the community nurses have all commented that they love coming here and sharing time with us all. These people have joined the ranks of our supporters and friends. Weird huh?

As I type, I have the final verse of In Christ Alone by Getty/Townend running through my head. I think it says it all.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

And so, community of fellow sojourners, it seems most likely that the next (but not last) blog post will be to share with you that Sue has died as she has lived - a much loved and expansively loving child of God.

We continue to give prayerful thanks to you all for your faithful interest and support in our lives. I doubt that you could begin to understand how significant it is to us to be carried in the hearts and minds of so many, so faithfully. True empathy is a gift, but it also comes at a price. Thank you for your willingness to bear that price.

Grace and peace to you all.

A Few Good Men?

I love a good courtroom drama. I even quite enjoy a bad one! Despite the fact that the reality of trials, courtrooms, judges, juries and lawyers bears no resemblance to what is portrayed in movies and TV series, I am happy to suspend reality and embrace the story. Give me a likeable defendant, a naive lawyer, an irascible judge, mounting evidence, clever cross-examination and an impassioned closing argument, and I am in heaven. Better still, throw in a 'surprise witness' at the climax of the trial - particularly one which renders everything that has gone before moot or one which would have rendered the whole trial unnecessary from the beginning because their testimony clearly absolves the defendant or (more rarely) proves their guilt. 

In the matter of Sue's 'trial' we were visited by a 'surprise witness' in the early hours of yesterday. Evidence was steadily mounting toward a 'conviction' that Sue's bowel was completely obstructed. Like the mythical troll-guarded bridge, it seemed that 'none shall pass'. Then, like a thunder-clap (literally), a surprise witness introduced explosive new evidence and 'quashed our conviction'! While this initially brought some physical and emotional relief, it also caused its own new turmoil. It now appears that the new evidence may not be entirely reliable.

I have watched A Few Good Men more than a few times and never tire of the moment when Col Jessup (Jack Nicholson) explodes with a spittle-peppered and slightly maniacal tirade that commences with the (now famous) phrase "You can't handle the truth" and proceeds to lay out to Kaffee (Tom Cruise) and to the court the 'realities of life' (at least as he sees them!)

The ebb and flow of the trial excites and intrigues us, but the innate and God-implanted desire to know 'the truth' is deep within us all. There are realities of life for all of us that are understood and carried as they are shared.

So perhaps it is time to stop having fun with the metaphors, inferences and innuendos (oh, there is a pun on that last word that it excruciating to leave alone...) and say plainly that Sue's physical health continues to decline. She is taking fluids well and regularly, but has no desire (and probably minimal capacity) to eat. Her pain and discomfort is variable but increasing, so overnight we have gone back to medications being delivered subcutaneously rather than orally for better and quicker effect. She is sleeping (reasonably) well and often, but tires easily. She is still interested in who is in the house and what is going on, and not beyond issuing the odd reminder or directive. 

Notwithstanding the pain and discomfort, and the knowing that death comes that bit closer each day, Sue is in good spirits and often sleepily responds to my question "How are you doing, sweetheart?" with a raised thumb peeking out from under the sheet next to her mischievous little smirk and the words "Life is good". Indeed it is my darling, indeed it is.

Forget A Few Good Men, God has blessed us with One Exceptional Woman.

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